No One Left I Love
by Allyson Dark
Summary: "They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love." But what if Johanna was lying, what if there was one person she loved. Rated M for violence and other mature themes in later chapters.
1. Feeling

I don't own the characters, I'm just playing around with them.

This is my first Joniss fic, ever, I don't know why I didn't decide to do this sooner, but I suppose after rewatching Catching Fire last night, I just jumped on the idea. I love this ship to death so if you don't like it don't read it.

I plan on continuing this, so let me know what you think!

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_"They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love."_

That damned sentence kept bouncing around Johanna's head as she sat on the beach, watching the water her hands, deftly sharpening her axe. It hadn't been long since she had screamed those words up to the fake sky.

Rage had simply ripped through her body when she saw Katniss, curled up on the ground, her body shaking with sobs from the screams of the Jabberjays. Once they had gotten her and Finnick calmed down, Johanna exploded. She couldn't take it anymore, she just needed to vent.

Now that everything seemed to be, for the most part, calm, she had time to reflect on exactly what she had said.

Her family was dead, Snow made sure of that when she refused to sell her body. She had never really had any friends, but even the people she would just converse with regularly, were gone and now the only thing left, was her broken, blackened soul.

_And her.._She thought as she looked up at Katniss who had just plopped down next to her. She should have been paying more attention, but there was nothing she could do now.

"Hey, are you okay?" Johanna asked, tilting her head a bit as she laid down her whetstone. She kept the axe in her hand, to keep up the charade that she could kill the raven haired girl at any moment.

"I'm fine, thank you, you know, for calming me down and..getting me water." Katniss spoke, her voice soft as she glanced up at Johanna before returning her gaze to her folded hands that sat in her lap.

_Why does she have to be so cute..._Johanna thoughts, shaking her head a bit as her cocky smile made it's way to her lips. "Well, can't very well have you dying on me now can I? Who else would keep me entertained, now that Wiress is gone..though I suppose that was more annoyance than entertainment.." She trailed off when she saw the hurt on the other girl's face.

_Well shit, I just messed up, great going, big mouth_ "Damn it, sorry, I didn't really think before I started talking.." She said softly as Katniss shrugged.

"It's fine, everyone has their way of coping, I suppose yours is to use crude language and sarcasm to mask the fact that you aren't nearly as strong as you let on." Katniss spoke as she doodled in the sand, not noticing the look of shock on Johanna's face.

"I guess you're right, but at least I'm better at hiding my feelings, you get over emotional over everything." The axe wielding girl pointed out. _At least I didn't let anyone see just how freaked out I was when you flew off the cornucopia island, if it had been reversed..well I'm not even sure you'd care._

Katniss shrugged again and leaned back on her hands, glancing up at the false sky, a sigh slipping from her lips. Johanna glanced down at the doodle in the sand and shook her head with an amused smile.

"I suppose it's a good thing Peeta is the artistic one in your relationship." She teased as Katniss snorted, rolling her eyes at the brunette, giving no other response as she laid in the sand, thinking of the night to come.

"What's going to happen if Beetee's plan works?" Katniss murmured, her chest rising and falling slowly, her eyes trained on the slight glimmer in the sky, where the force field hummed.

_If it works the way we want it, we're getting out of here, or at least you will._ "Well, we'll be down to just us and I don't really want to think about what happens after that." Johanna said, biting her lip a bit, she didn't want to dwell on what could happen if things went south.

"Let's not think about that at all right now, yeah? Why don't you just get some rest, you must be exhausted, I'll go get you some more water" She said, getting up before Katniss could even protest.

As she strode across the beach, her mind was wandering to scenes of them all being pitted against each other, she couldn't even think about having to kill Katniss, she could barely even picture her gutting open her arm to get that tracker out.

_Damn it, Johanna, pull yourself together, you are not in love with that brainless Mockingjay. You're just feeling this way because she's the key to your freedom and your revenge. You just need to make it through tonight and then your part is done, for now..just gotta keep her safe_

As Johanna fought with herself, she knelt down and tapped a tree, gathering the water in an empty coconut shell, before ripping the spile out of the bark and heading back to where the raven haired girl sat, still watching the sky.

"Here, drink up and then get to sleep, brainless." She said, smiling slightly as Katniss rolled her eyes at the pet name.

She watched as the other girl sat up and took the water, downing it with ease, before laying it on the damp sand, offering Johanna a small smile before laying back down, this time on her side, her head resting on her arms.

"Thank you, Johanna." She murmured softly as she closed her eyes, sighing softly as her body relaxed.

Johanna watched her for a while, her eyes trained on the slow rise and fall of other girl's chest, it soothed her to know that she made the Mockingjay safe enough to sleep. A swelling warmth made it's way through the older girl's chest as she came to accept that maybe, just maybe, she did love this idiot in front of her.

After about an hour, she shook her head and stood up, moving to the water's edge, dipping her feet in as she thought about the plan and how risky this all was, but she had to keep calm and stick with the program or else everything could go to hell.

_They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love, no one that they know about.._


	2. Waiting

_Okay, so this is a Katniss POV filler chapter (don't those suck?) I thought about making it longer, and having them go up to the tree, but I decided that it's better to do that in Johanna's POV, get her feelings on it._

_Still don't own the characters, I just like playing with them. _

_A big thank you to all of those who have hit that follow or favorite button. (You guys should review too ;) ) _

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Katniss was surprised at how well she slept, she figured it was because she had been terrified to exhaustion. When she sat up, running a hand through her messy locks, she peered around, sighing softly as she spotted Johanna a short distance away, talking to Finnick.

From where she sat, it looked like they were arguing about something, but she didn't have the patience to try and figure out exactly what they would be arguing about. Instead she stretched and stood up, noticing, with a smile, that there was water sitting next to her.

_Isn't that sweet._ She thought to herself, shaking her head a bit as she picked it up, downing it without hesitation. _I don't even want to think about what will happen in the next few hours, it scares me to think about losing her.._She paused in thought, her eyes wide for a moment.

_Her, why would I be scared to lose Johanna..I mean..I've only known her for a little while and we hate each other, right? Come on, Katniss, this is about saving Peeta...it always has been.._She shook her head and headed toward Finnick and the girl who seemed to possess her thoughts.

"We should eat." She said dully, keeping her eyes trained on Finnick, like she was afraid that if she looked at Johanna, she would be able to hear her thoughts. Without waiting for a reply she turned on her heel and headed toward Peeta.

"Let's go get us some shellfish." She said, offering him a smile and a hand up. He got up, a bit wobbly on his prosthetic and smiled back at her before they headed down to the water.

He would sit on the edge, as she swam and grabbed what she could, depositing them next to him, as he started to clean and lay the seafood out.

It wasn't long before Finnick and Johanna joined them, Finnick in the water and Johanna next to Peeta, helping him along. Finnick helped her dive for oysters. She enjoyed this part, watching the fish down by the sandy bottom. After a little while, they had a pile of fresh, sea food.

Just as they were about to dig in, they were given something to go along with their meal, spicy red sauce and twenty-four more rolls. They each took five, leaving them left with seven.

They didn't bother talking about dividing them up, everyone knew they couldn't, there was just enough left for one person and nobody wanted to dwell on that. They decided to eat as much as they could, making a feast of sorts, enjoying the tang that the sauce brought to the salty flesh.

"Hey, look what I found." Peeta grinned, holding up a silvery pearl. He handed it over to Katniss, which she took gratefully and smiled at him.

He then made a joke about pearls and coal, that made her snort and Finnick roll his eyes. Everything seemed fairly normal, she could almost picture them all, sitting around a table like this, just smiling, talking and enjoying each others company.

The thought only made her feel worse inside, though she had a smile on her face, her chest ached for normalcy, but she knew she would never have that again. As she finished a roll, she glanced up at Johanna, letting out a soft sigh.

_Hopefully I die first, I don't know if I'll be able to cope with losing them all, especially her.._ As much as she hated to admit it, the ache in her chest, wasn't for Peeta, because it only arose when she looked at Johanna.

And even though, mere hours ago, Johanna had admitted there was no one she loved, Katniss couldn't shake the feeling, that the sarcastic, foul mouthed girl, now owned the her heart.


	3. Capture

Mkay, here we go! Chapter Three, I debated forever on how to have the other victors captured and finally decided on one tonight! I hope you all like it. Leave the love :3

Still don't own these lovely characters.

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When they had finished eating, the sun was well below the horizon, leaving the arena eerily dark. After a few moments, they all heard it, the rushing of the water coming from the ten o'clock section, it made the hair on Johanna's arms stand up.

The sound reminded of approaching trains, the air splitting, leaving that ominous, dull roar, echoing across the open spaces. She shuddered softly as the wave crashed against the cornucopia, ending that monstrous sound.

"Time to go." Katniss murmured from her seat a few feet away. Johanna watched the other girl stand up before sighing softly and doing the same.

It took all she had, not to growl when Katniss walked over to Peeta and took his hand._ That damned bread boy doesn't deserve her._ She thought angrily as she shook her head, stretching her arms high above her head, listening to her back crack with letting out a contented sigh.

Finnick stood next to her, a knowing smile on his face as he clapped her shoulder, shrugging his own, a teasing glint in his eyes. Johanna rolled her eyes and punched his arm gently before turning her attention back to Katniss, she was now talking to Beetee.

_Let's just get this over with.._She thought and nudged Finnick away before heading over to the other allies. Beetee explained it to the two, twelvers one more time, before they headed out. The thought of what was coming, made Johanna feel sick to her stomach.

She pushed what thoughts she could, aside and moved forward, keeping her eyes out for the two remaining careers, she didn't want anything to slow down their trip. The grip on her axe tightened as they came upon the large tree and the clicking sounds of the bugs started to invade her senses.

She wasn't even sure what kind of bugs they were, thought Finnick and Katniss had agreed earlier that they must be beetles. The thought made Johanna's skin crawl, sending and unpleasant shiver down her spine.

She watched Beetee go to work and started to pace a bit, biting her lip as she thought. _She's going to hate me until she finds everything out, she's going to think I betrayed her..fuck why can't this be easier._

"You and Johanna are going to take this and run it down to the beach, throw the spool into the water and make sure it sinks, Finnick and Peeta will stay here and protect me." Beetee explained as Johanna nodded, noticing the nervous look on the twelver's faces.

"Why can't Peeta and I do it?" Katniss piped up, her brow furrowing at Finnick and Beetee. Peeta piped in that he could escort us both, probably trying to make it sound less suspicious.

"Because, I need you two to protect me, what if the careers come, I doubt that Finnick and myself could take them by ourselves, those two can take plenty good care of themselves,and this way I will be safe." The older man explained, leaving Peeta and Katniss casting anxious glances at each other before accepting that there was no way to get around it.

Johanna watched Katniss take the spool and then they headed back down toward the beach. Most of the trip was met with mutual silence, neither was sure what to say to the other. It wasn't until they were about half way down, did Johanna pipe up.

"Here, let me carry it." She said, taking the coil from Katniss' hands. They walked on for a little while longer.

Just as Johanna was ready to act, the wire went limp and she knew that the careers had found them. She acted quickly, guilt boiling in her gut as she swung the heavy coil around and smacked Katniss in the back of the head, watching her fall to the ground with a groan.

As soon as Katniss was down, Johanna was on top of her, whipping out her knife and slicing the girl's arm open. She slipped her fingers into the wound and gripped the tracker, ripping it free, wincing as the other girl cried out.

She tossed the tracker aside and moved her bloody hands to the Mockingjay's throat gently, smearing the blood along her neck "Stay down!" Johanna hissed before placing a quick, but meaningful kiss upon the other girl's lips.

Before she could hesitate any further she was on the move, leading Enobaria and Brutus away. Her legs pushed her forward, through the trees, heading backwards along the clock, making sure she wouldn't end up trapped in one of the arena's deadly sections.

After a while of crashing around, she found a nice place to hide and ducked under, her ears straining to hear anything. There were no footsteps, no muttered curses, nothing.

She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there, curled up with her knife, still covered in blood. It wasn't until the hairs on her arms started to stand up, bristling with the electricity in the air, did she move.

Johanna made her way back toward the center tree, her legs aching as she pushed forward. She made it about halfway there, before the dome started to explode, breaking into large pieces. With a quick glance upward, she saw the real sky for the first time in three days.

The stars made her feel a little better about what was happening next. She saw the hover craft gathering up Katniss, knowing it was their own, her heart skipped a beat and a slow smile formed on her lips, the knowledge that her Mockingjay was safe, made her legs finally stop moving.

There was no use running any more, she knew that Thirteen wouldn't be able to rescue her and frankly she didn't care at that moment, as long as she was safe. She got into a defensive position, wielding her knife, a look of pure rage settling on her features as the Peace Keepers flooded the arena.

Her body went into autopilot, hacking and slicing away at any Peace Keeper she could get her hands on. It wasn't until she was covered with their blood, snarling, her eyes hard as stone, did they start pouring a tranquilizing mist into the arena.

She fought against the fog in her mind as her vision started to blur, her movements slowing down. "Fuck you all!" She growled out just before she dropped to the ground, everything going dark.


	4. Prisoner

Okay, here it is! This chapter gave me all kinds of fits, so if it sucks, I apologize in advance! A big thank you to all the follows and favs and suchness! Feel free to review! Still don't own these lovely characters, gonna play with them for a few more chapters.

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As Johanna awoke, her vision was blurry, leaving everything as a grey blob. After blinking several times, her surroundings became clear, making her sigh in frustration. Her head felt like it was in a vise, her mouth gluey, only adding to the irritation she felt, not only toward her captors, but at herself, for letting herself get caught.

The room she was in, was nothing but three concrete walls, and one that seemed like a window, but upon closer inspection, she figured out that it was a force field, though she had no intention of physically testing this hypothesis. There was a small sink in the corner, next to the toilet, a full length mirror, embedded into the wall, allowed her to see the beige scrubs she was in.

"Fucking bastards." She murmured, plopping onto the thin mattress she assumed would be her bed for the duration of her stay.

As she sat there, she could hear the sobs and screams of the other prisoners, each screech sending an awful shiver down her spine, leaving her with a cold fear settling in the pit of her stomach.

Johanna decided to curl up on her bed and close her eyes once more, trying to figure a way out. It kept her mind off of darker things, also keeping the anxiety of her wait to a minimum. _You'd think they would be all over me, trying to get me to spill secrets, not just let me sit in this damned cell._

It seemed like hours before someone came, a thin gentleman, with a balding head and pale skin, he wore a pair of black pants and a white shirt under his stained lab coat. He bore the gift of food and also the presence of an armed guard, ready to silence the girl if he deemed fit.

Behaving uncharacteristically calm, she sat up slowly, watching the man hold the plastic tray out to her, to which she accepted, offering a small smile of thanks before poking at the 'food' upon the grey tray.

She didn't begin eating until they had left and was less than pleased with the gruel she had been given. She was pretty sure sawdust tasted better..in fact, she _knew_ it tasted better, but she ate it all the same.

The meals would come twice a day and she was left to her own devices when it came to drink, using the plastic cup on the sink, she drank water, relieved herself and waited for the food before sleeping. Food, water, bathroom, sleep, repeat.

That's how it went for a few days, until she was comfortable, and that's when it all went south. One day, around the time her food normally came, two large guards came into her room and escorted her down to the lab.

She fought the whole way down, until she was thrown into a chair, her arms and legs strapped down as she glared at the doctor in front of her. "How are you today, Johanna?" He asked her, pulling a clipboard off the table.

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic." She spat, her eyes blazing as she pulled at her restraints, a primal growl ripping through her throat.

The doctor shook his head and clicked his tongue, writing something down before leaning against the table "Where are your friends hiding?" He asked, his tone still calm and collected, his silver eyes gleaming.

Johanna's brow raised up at him, a smirk spreading across her lips as she relaxed into the chair, her eyes hard. "I have no idea what you're talking about, doc."

The doctor sighed and shrugged his shoulders before he motioned to one of the guards, who then fastened the last strap on the chair, holding her head down to the metal. "I'm going to ask you again, before we have to do this the hard way" He said, an evil look crossing his features.

"Where are your friends?" He asked her once more, as the distinct buzz of a pair of electric clippers filled the room. Still, the small girl stayed quiet, even as her head was being shaved.

It wasn't until the bucket of icy water was poured over her, did she make a sound, just a hard gasp, as her body tried to adjust to the cold. Before she could even cuss, the metal of her chair was lit up with electricity.

A terrible scream ripped it's way pasted her throat as her heart thudded, speeding up as all of her muscles began to twitch. It stopped almost as suddenly as it started, leaving Johanna panting, her extremities still moving on their own, her heart slowing down for a moment.

"Tell us where they are, Johanna." The doctor spoke, a smirk on his lips, betraying his rather calm speech.

"Go fuck yourself!" She yelled, knowing she would regret it, and she did.

Almost as soon as the last syllable left her lips, her chair was set alight once more, another scream making it's way into the otherwise quiet room.

It went on like that for a few hours, question, answer, shock, question, no answer, more water, shock, question, fuck off, shock, and so on. It wasn't until she was on the verge of unconsciousness, did they carry her back to her room, tossing her onto the bed before leaving her once more.

She could barely find it in herself to curl up on her side, shivering, twitching, her whole body aching. _Gods damn it all_ She thought as she listened to the other prisoners scream, one in particular, she recognized, flinching a bit as Peeta yelled in terror at some unknown horror.

Johanna shook her head and drifted off into sleep, managing to gain a little energy from her restless night. As she awoke, a spike of fear sliced through her morning daze as she wondered if she would be tortured again.

As the day moved on, she was offered food, which she took but didn't eat, spending most of her time in the bed, shivering as her mind wandered to the previous, painful day. But she was not tortured that day, nor the next, or even the day after that.

They let her calm down first, let her settle back into a routine before they ripped her from it once more, continuing the shock torture. They watched as she gradually stopped fighting, as she just took the electricity, no curing, no fight, just screams.

The months passed effortlessly, rest days, torture, rest, torture, screaming..so much screaming. She was starting to lose herself in that cell. Every day, her body grew thinner, her skin paler and her hair was growing back, in odd patches. She barely used the sink of the toilet, only when absolutely necessary, the water was just too much for her.

One day, she decided she had, had enough and smashed the mirror in her room, grabbing a jagged piece of glass, running it up her arm, watching the crimson roll across her alabaster skin and onto the floor.

She couldn't even enjoy the calmness of a coming death, guards rushed into the small room and dragged her to the infirmary where she was knocked out, stitched up and thrown back into her cell, minus anything dangerous.

She was kept under a close watch as she sat, huddled up in her safe bed, rocking back and forth, her mind dancing across dark images of the freedom death could bring.

Wake up, eat enough to satisfy the guards, sit, stare, rock, back and forth, back and forth. She could hear screaming, but these were different, they weren't screams of pain or despair, they were the screams of delight from some of the other prisoners.

It wasn't until a soldier slammed into her room, blood covering his District Thirteen uniform, did she understand what was happening, she was saved, she was going to be safe.

"Miss Mason, follow me..hurry." The soldier said, offering her a hand, anxiety in his eyes, sweat on his brow as she took his hand and they made off down the hall.


End file.
